Day 1

Well I certainly picked the right place to become aware. Nantucket has it's share of every socioeconomic scale with ton's of ego to spare. In the "New Earth" I have outlined certain passages that I have identified with.

Page 26.
"When you don't cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of miracolous returns to your life that was lost a long time ago when humanity, instead of using thought, became possessed by thought".

I was shocked last night when I laid my head down for bed. My brain, my voice was vomiting non- stop it was almost like diarrhea of the brain. I could not shut it up until I realized I could by acknowledging it presence it and stop feeding it, per say. The thoughts that were running through my mind was a scattering of work, people and some disgusting mental images I mean I could not believe I thought this thoughts every night....control, alt, delete my computer is fried and ugly. It was not a easy thing to do even when I was walking down Main Street I would constantly label and judge people I did even know so fast as if in a mili-second they were judged and condemned by my ego. I am really insane and need to change but by realizing all this I noticed that it has changed by me becoming aware of it. Trust me I am far from enlightened but I can feel it changing.

Page 27
" That illusory self then becomes the basis for all further interpretations, or rather misinterpretations of reality, all thought processes, interactions, and relationships. Your reality becomes a reflection of the original illusion. The good news is: If you can recognize illusion as illusion, it disolves. The recognition of illusion is also it's ending. It's survival depends on your your mistaking it for reality. In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself"

Wow, pretty profound words but thank heaven that I am becoming aware, who would want to live my life over again certainly not I. This evening at work I thought of all my guests as brothers and sisters of the same Father and did not need to label or judge them since we are all connected from The Source they should be loved and not labeled.

Page 37
"Most people don't inhabit a living reality, but a conceptualized one"

Page 41
"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness"

Huh, well that's nice...twenty years of chasing my tail like a dog...around and around and around and around well you got the picture but I AM HERE NOW.

This morning I was very excited to start my meditation on the beach and relaxing in the stillness of now. So I choose Pebble Beach just west of Tom Nevers. It was perfect morning sort of cool around 72 degrees, slightly cloudy, no one on the beach, monster waves, a woman and her dog about a mile down the beach and one stand up paddle surfer. I walked to the beach about twenty feet from the breaking waves and sat prone and started to work on my breathing.....in for four seconds and out for four seconds, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat and then a bite on my back. Horse flys with no other prey around swarmed me and became my challenge. I thought of what Eckhart would say......accept and surrender so I gave them my flesh. I had a thought of a book I read about some Lady who ran with an Aboriginal tribe and encountered the same problem and she let the insects clean the mucous out her nose. If she could do it so could I ...in for four out for four....they are ganging up on me now six bites at a time. I am become irritated now big time. So, I am still maintaining a positive frame of mind so I move up the beach. I sit back down, get prone, in for four out for four and Bam a monster horse fly bites on my side....it's stinging like all hell and I am majorly pissed off. They won today and what did I learn.......it is what it was....they won the battle but not the war.

Have a great day,

Jeremy